Edward Tory Higgins, a renowned psychologist, speaks of the innate human desire to feel unique, loved, and appreciated, to feel special. Yet, in our quest for validation, we often lose sight of what truly matters—our own intrinsic worth. We become ensnared in a cycle of comparison and self-doubt, constantly measuring ourselves against impossible standards.
From a young age, we’re taught to chase after this elusive notion of flawlessness, to mold ourselves into the image of what society deems ideal. But what happens when we inevitably fall short of this unattainable standard?
The pressure to conform to societal expectations can feel suffocating at times. We’re bombarded with messages telling us how we should look, act, and think, leaving little room for individuality or self-expression. It’s a relentless drumbeat, drowning out the softer melodies of our own souls.
I remember reading the book “Open” by Andre Agassi, where he provides a raw account of his journey from his tumultuous childhood to his rise to the top of the tennis world. One of the key revelations in the book is Agassi’s admission that he wore a wig during his playing career to conceal his baldness, a fact that shocked many fans and added a layer of complexity to his public image. Additionally, Agassi opens up about his highly publicized marriage to actress Brooke Shields, revealing that while he cared for her deeply, he struggled to maintain the facade of a perfect relationship, being in love with someone else. “Open” is not just a story about tennis; it’s a story about fighting with our identity, and the influence of our ego and societal norms on ourselves. Agassi’s book offers readers a rare glimpse behind the glamorous facade of professional sports and into the heart and mind of one of its most iconic figures.
But what if we were to break free from this cycle? What if we were to redefine our notion of success, not as a destination to be reached, but as a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance? What if we were to listen not to the drums of society, but to the quiet whisperings of our own hearts?
By embracing our imperfections, we open ourselves up to a world of possibility, where our weaknesses become opportunities for growth, and our strengths become beacons of light guiding us forward.
Instead of striving endlessly for an unattainable ideal, we must learn to embrace our authenticity. This means recognizing our strengths and weaknesses and understanding that they are an integral part of what makes us unique. It’s about reframing our perception of success and failure, realizing that true fulfillment comes from growth, not perfection.
In the end, it’s not about becoming someone else’s idea of perfect. If we keep paying attention to the drums of society, we’ll never hear the violins of our soul and lose the opportunity to become the best version of ourselves—unspecial, imperfect, yet infinitely valuable.
So, the next time you feel the weight of society’s expectations bearing down upon you, remember this—you are enough, just as you are. You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy of love and acceptance. You don’t need to be special, not at least because of what you achieve or possess, but because of who you are, flaws and all.
About the author.
Gesner Filoso is a seasoned global executive with over two decades of experience orchestrating and leading diverse teams across the Americas, EMEA, and Asia/Pacific. Starting as a humble contact center intern in Brazil, Gesner embarked on a journey of professional growth that saw him ascending through the ranks. His career path traversed various companies, sectors, and global locations, culminating in his current role as a global marketing and creative executive.
Beyond his corporate achievements, Gesner is also the visionary behind Unspecials™, an organization dedicated to empowering often-overlooked creative talents from underprivileged communities. The consultancy aims to help these individuals discover their unique paths and seize opportunities for growth and success.
For more information, visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gesner/